Category: Humor

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In honor of Valentine’s Day, check out this bizarre sight we found at (of all places) Borders a while back:

Pon Farr Perfume: Drive Him Crazy

Yes, it’s Star Trek perfume inspired by the Vulcan mating urge.

But, wait, there’s more!

Apparently, they want you to believe that Starfleet Medical has isolated the factor that made Captain James T. Kirk a 23rd century Casanova (in SPAAACE!) and have bottled it to sell.

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Here are some of my contributions to today’s Twitter meme, #greatquoteswithdear. You can probably figure out how the game works…

  • “Damn it, dear, I’m a doctor, not a bricklayer!”
  • “Damn the torpedoes, dear. Full speed ahead!”
  • “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes, dears.”
  • “Hello, dear. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
  • “I aim to misbehave, dear.”
  • “I came, I saw, I conquered, dear.”
  • “Kneel before Zod, dear.”
  • “Madness? This is Sparta, dear!” ← (this one’s my favorite)
  • “More weight, dear.”
  • “Something wicked this way comes, dear.”
  • “The same thing we do every night, dear: Try to take over the world!”
  • “Why so serious, dear?”
  • “Yippee-ki-yay, dear.”
  • “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, dear?”

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Now, I realize this is simply a brand name, probably inspired by the “pure” part of the slogan…but I can’t help but be reminded of the brief fad for clear products in the early 1990s. Remember Crystal Pepsi? Of course you don’t.

Saturday Night Live summed up just how unappetizing this fad really was in two words: Crystal Gravy.

Thankfully, Crystal Hot Sauce is not clear (as you can see!), and actually tasted pretty good.

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