Today it was bright, sunny and warm – the perfect day to go swimming.
Well, so much for that idea.
Category: Highlights
I think they’re trying to tell us something
I don’t get what it’s saying. Maybe there’s a hidden message on it.
Songs Not to Play at a Wedding
Remember the song “How’s it Gonna Be” by Third Eye Blind? When it was new, a lot of high schools apparently chose it for the prom theme, proving that teenagers don’t actually listen to the lyrics (it’s a breakup song), which should mitigate parental concerns about explicit lyrics.
Anyway, Katie and I were talking about this the other day and started tossing around titles of songs that would be just plain wrong to play at a wedding reception.
- You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette)
- Paradise by the Dashboard Light (Meat Loaf)
- Song for the Dumped (Ben Folds)
- Closer (Nine Inch Nails)
- Brick (Ben Folds Five)
- Playboy Mommy (Tori Amos)
- Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Deep Blue Something)
- Anything But Down (Sheryl Crow)
- Back to Good (Matchbox 20)
- Me and a Gun (Tori Amos)
- Anything by Liz Phair
- Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) (Vertical Horizon)
- Guys Like Me (Aimee Mann)
- Anything by Evanescence or Linkin Park
- Melanie (“Weird Al” Yankovic)
- Almost anything by They Might Be Giants
- Don’t Stand So Close to Me (The Police)
- Eleanor Rigby (The Beatles)
- I Touch Myself (The Divinyls)
- Anything by Rammstein
- Gollum’s Song
- Anything by the Chipmunks
- I Don’t Like Mondays (Boomtown Rats)
- Anything by Nirvana
- I’m So Happy I Can’t Stop Crying (Sting)
- King of Pain (The Police)
- I’m Still Remembering (Cranberries)
- One More Minute (“Weird Al” Yankovic)
- If I Were Brave (Shawn Colvin)
- Jumper (Third Eye Blind)
- Yesterday (The Beatles)
- Roxanne (The Police)
- I’ll Never Tell (Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Once More With Feeling)
- Anything by Garbage
- Positively Fourth Street (Bob Dylan)
- Torn (Natalie Imbruglia)
- Taxi (Harry Chapin)
- The Freshmen (Verve Pipe)
- Power of Goodbye (Madonna)
- Waitress (Tori Amos)
- Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler)
- Uninvited (Alanis Morissette)
- Unsent (Alanis Morissette)
We’re not sure about The Highwayman and Lady of Shalott (Loreena McKennit), since the subject matter is wrong, but they’re quiet and unobtrusive.
This is an open list – feel free to add your suggestions! The idea is not just to get something that isn’t appropriate, but something that’s especially inappropriate (breakup songs, twisted relationships, put-down songs, etc.)
In case you couldn’t tell…
Yes, that really is laundry in there, folks! See how important labels are!
(Speaking of which, I would have posted this earlier, but I just spent 35 ^%$!@ minutes waiting for someone to show up and empty out one of the eight driers that were finished. And they’re double-stacked, so you can’t just pull the clothes out and set them on top. Grrr…)
What do you think’s in the burgers?
I wonder if the local McDonald’s has ever looked at their sign from a car at the nearest street corner?
Of course, it could also mean they’re friendly toward large feline customers….
Buffy Finale: I can just see the Sunnydale news reports
(Spoilers for last night’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer finale)
EARTHQUAKE DESTROYS CALIFORNIA TOWN
By Kelson Vibber, staff writer
A 5.9 earthquake struck the Central California town of Sunnydale Tuesday morning, rattling windows as far away as Los Angeles and San Francisco and triggering a massive sinkhole which appears to have buried the entire town. In an amazing twist of luck, however, the death toll may turn out to be zero.
Emergency workers dispatched from neighboring communities have reported the scene is one of eerie silence – largely because many of the town’s residents had left over the past few weeks.
Nature’s Semantics
Katie and I were shopping at Whole Foods yesterday, and I saw a box labeled “Nature’s Burger.” It was a mix for making a vegetarian burger patty.
One of the strangest things I’ve seen in vegetarian/vegan products is the suggestion that somehow meat and dairy products are unnatural, but that processing the hell out of a few dozen vegetable distillates into something that vaguely approximates the experience of ground beef is “natural.”
I mean, I’ve seen slogans like “Nature’s alternative to cheese.” Do they find this mysterious vegetable-based mass lying around somewhere? No? It requires industrial processing? Well it’s not natural, then, is it?
In a similar vein, the abbreviation of organically-grown-and-processed to simply “organic” can make for some rather amusing phrasing. The coffee grinder had a sign explaining that it was used for both organic and conventional coffee beans, and if you wanted to ensure that your coffee “remained organic,” you should grind them at home. And yes, I knew what they meant, but I couldn’t help thinking, “What, they’re suddenly going to become silicon-based?”