Category: Life

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Last week I started to notice Eudora’s musical you’ve-got-mail tones, very faint, at times that I got new mail. This was odd for two reasons: my sound was muted, and I’ve long since replaced the sound with the “Message for you, sir!” line from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I assumed it was just coincidence, and the guy in the next cubicle had his email set to check on a similar schedule.

Well, it seems that mute doesn’t actually work on my Win2k box, at least not if it’s muted when I log in. The volume icon in the taskbar says it’s muted, the checkbox is checked, but it still sends sound to the speakers. Unchecking and re-checking the mute box solved it.

Now I need to figure out why it reset the sound clip. I did install a new version of Eudora recently, but it kept the rest of my settings intact. My best guess is that I moved the file a while back and forgot about it (since it’s been on mute for months), and Eudora, unable to find it, fell back to the default.

If I hadn’t turned the volume down so far, it would have been obvious. And I probably wouldn’t have bothered writing this.

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From my calendar today, another appetizer that’ll make everybody finish everything else on the buffet first:

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CHICKEN BALL

1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese
2 cans (4 3/4 oz) chunky chicken
1 sm onion
5 drops Worcestershire sauce
3 drops Tabasco sauce
1 T lemon juice

Combine all ingredients. Chill until firm. Roll into a ball; then roll in nuts. Refrigerate at least 24 hours before serving.

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Atkins-friendly, sure. Appetizing, probably not to anyone I know. One of my co-workers said it sounded yummy, though. I’m wondering, what do you do with the onion? It’s kind of hard to roll a whole onion into a ball…..

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A couple of weeks ago, the landscaping wonks for my work building ripped out all the hedges in the parking-lot divider islands and heavily mulched the ground. They didn’t put anything new in until the middle of last week, when I noticed a slew of newly-planted birds of paradise on the exit side as we were driving out on Thursday night. This morning, the islands on the entrance side were stocked with nursery pots awaiting transplant. I’m wondering if I should start being even more suspicious of the lawyers in the building, or if I should wait to see if the thermostat starts creeping up…..

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The ingredients list for what my calendar calls SPICY GUACAMOLE DIP:

1/2 c mayonnaise
1 lg avocado, peeled and mashed
1 tomato, chopped
1/4 c minced onion
1/4 c green chiles, drained and chopped
1 T lemon juice
1/2 t salt

This reminds me of the Gallery of Regrettable Food recipe for Hot ‘n’ Spicy Tex-Mex Chicken, which involves removing an atom of chili powder from its lead casing and waving it carefully over the casserole. Then I recall with thank-God-it’s-over nostalgia the time I asked our waiter how spicy the dressing on the spinach salad with rare ahi tuna was, received the answer “just a little spicy,” and subsequently spent half an hour attempting to extinguish my taste buds. (This was made worse by the fact that I was on Weight Watchers pretty hardcore at the time and couldn’t make myself eat bread to get rid of the burn.) I guess there must be people who think Ortega canned chiles are spicy, but I’ve never met any. Still, it’s oddly comforting knowing somebody out there has a more tender tongue. Maybe I’m not such a hopeless white girl after all.

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More “You sent a virus!” garbage going around. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even look at most delivery failure notices, which means I could easily miss errors about mail I really did send.

I got ticked off enough this time that I wrote back to the return address on the warning, matching the tone and structure of their message as closely as possible:

An invalid virus notice was found in an Email message you sent. Your Email scanner recognized a virus as W32/MyDoom-O but did not take into account the fact that this virus always uses a fake sender address.

Please update your virus scanner or contact your IT support personnel as soon as possible as you are sending bogus virus warnings to third parties whose systems are not infected with the virus. This runs the risk of causing unnecessary concern among the less tech-savvy (and extra calls to tech support about the nonexistant virus they fear they have). I would recommend reading up on the phrase “crying wolf” as well.

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I’m about halfway through The Illuminatus! Trilogy, and the most apt description is, if you’ll pardon the language, a mindfuck. Once the writing settles into a coherent structure (or perhaps once the reader is attuned to it), the mind starts noticing connections. Everywhere. It’s as if it was written specifically to induce apophenia.

The most insidious part of the book(s) is the frequent use of historical or other authors’ fictional sources. “Oh, there’s Emperor Norton.” “OK, we’re back to Buckminster Fuller again.” “Hey, that’s right, ‘Tekeli-li!’ does show up in both Lovecraft and Poe.” And this constant mixing of fact with fiction, familiar with strange, and things known to be true with things which seem implausible does make you wonder: how much of this did they make up on their own, and how much did they stitch together out of real events, prior works, and creative synthesis?

After all, if you had never heard of Joshua Norton, and one day heard the story of a man who declared himself Emperor of the United States, Continue reading →

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